A member of our NLP Community Forum recently posted a question along the lines of “NLP is so powerful that I feel like it gives me an unfair advantage so I end up not using it when I’m influencing people – how can I get around this?”
This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this, so I thought I’d blog it with two levels of answer:
- You cannot NOT communicate. You cannot NOT influence. Even remaining still and silent will have an effect.
- NLP is very powerful, but bear in mind that we do a lot of this stuff (Eg rapport) naturally anyway. My sense is that Erickson modeled embedded commands from his clients. NLP is not so much something that has been invented, as it is something that's been observed and then innovated with.
Having said all that, NLP offers a very powerful set of tools for communication, influence & changes, so...
- Check in with your intention. What’s your purpose for doing whatever you’re doing? What goes around comes around, so it’s a good idea to put out good stuff.
- Notice the responses you’re getting, & change what you’re doing where necessary.
- Have fun, play, experiment. A sense of curiousity, fun & adventure is often infectious, & brings with it its own rewards.
- Leave people feeling better than you found them.